why do you do this to me?
by but it comes around
Summary: "And even though his yellow eyes – the eyes that were once so soft, so kind and loving, as they looked over her – are malicious, filled with rage and blood thirst, it's still her Thistleclaw." Thistleclaw and Snowfur meet in the battle in "The Last Hope"


**Title: **why do you do this to me?

**Rating: **K

**Characters/Pairings: **Snowfur, Thistleclaw; Thistleclaw/Snowfur

**Disclaimer: **Title comes from "Pardon Me" by He Is We, and I do not own Warrior Cats.

**Authors Note: **I was listening to He Is We's "Old Demos" album, and angsty Thistleclaw/Snowfur is what I get from that band. So...yes. Have this weird drabble because of that!

**Summary: **"And even though his yellow eyes – the eyes that were once so soft, so _kind_ and loving, as they looked over her – are malicious, filled with rage and blood thirst, it's still her Thistleclaw."

**Words: **~614

* * *

She recognizes him, almost instantly; she's spent so long searching through the memories that she has of them together, pacing StarClan's hunting grounds in solitude, never satisfied with the things she sees.

(because they just don't _add up_. It doesn't make sense – why would Thistleclaw...he never showed any signs of being _this way_-)

He's more ragged than she remembers, his fur prickled worse than a defensive hedgehog, and his ears hardly holding their proper form due to the extensive slashes in them. And even though his yellow eyes – the eyes that were once so soft, so _kind_ and loving, as they looked over her – are malicious, filled with rage and blood thirst, it's still her Thistleclaw.

It's almost comical how it happens, how they come in contact with one another after _so _many seasons, like in one of the stories Moonflower would murmur to them as she lulled her and Bluekit to sleep.

They're on the battlefield, inside of ThunderClan territory. She's dodging Dark Forest warriors, aiding her kin and the cats who don't know her name, don't know her legacy, but see the kindness in her eyes, the determination to help rid them of these traitors, so they don't question her as she helps them.

She's on one side, slashing at some of the faded warriors, a snarl building in her throat and cold fire burning in her blue eyes; she's never been a fighter – not as much as Bluefur was – but this is her _home_, where her grandkits and great-grandkits are alive and well.

She's on one side, and then...and then suddenly she feels him, feels his prickled fur bumping into her tail, and then she turns, whirling around when she notices the familiar _chill _that the Dark Forest cats have, the chill that distinguishes them from StarClan and the living.

And...and then he's there.

Thistleclaw is snarling as well, lip curled back to reveal his fangs, glistening in the dying sunlight. He's in his "battle mode", the one she remembers all too well from her life; even in her shock, she still remembers the battles where she had to interfere, pushing Thistleclaw away lightly and remembering him not to go too far.

But then he stops; he closes his mouth, realization dawning on his scarred white face. He's staring at her, yellow eyes mirroring her shock, and his mouth opens, just a bit – as though he'll say something – before it clamps shut again, the battle-hungry fire dwindling out of his gaze.

They stay like that for a few moments, standing in the middle of a battle and regarding each other with surprise, all in silence.

The rational side of Snowfur is _screaming _at her to attack him, to claw him where he stands for allying himself with traitors, but she...can't. In her time in StarClan, with her mother comforting her and telling her that Thistleclaw's banishment to the Dark Forest was for the best, she was so certain that she had gotten over the tom. That he was merely a memory.

But here, now, with him staring at her, that open loving that she remembers from _so _long ago creeping on the edges of his expression, she realizes, rather guiltily, that she _loves _him.

She's never stopped.

She expects him to attack, to tell her he's sorry, but Thistleclaw merely dips his head, blinking down at her in what she thinks is...forlorn. Her former mate simply moves past her, his pelt brushing hers as he speeds past, snarling and launching himself back into the fray of battle.

It was all wordless, just a silent, sad gesture, but Snowfur knows that it's an _"I'm sorry."_


End file.
